Insomnia and I are old friends who nod in passing, acknowledging our shared history like lovers but say nothing. The latest flare of pain caused by fibromyalgia has rekindled that flame and brought an entirely new facet to the relationship.

Fibro flares can be difficult. It’s sometimes easy to forget I’m in the middle of one when I’m sitting and working or active around the house but when I lay down to rest and my body starts to relax the pain gets worse. Much worse. We’re talking the kind of pain that makes wearing clothes uncomfortable. The pain stirs up the mind, and the mind chases away sleep.

Last night? She and I walked a long, slow road together but this time she brought something new with her. It took the third trip back to bed for me to realize that it was anxiety, something I usually only get at conventions or when having to do public speaking.

Me. 4AM. One tiny pill and within the hour I finally found some solace.

But you, the lady who haunts my sleep and whose laugh echos in my dreams? You’re a bitch.